Ways to Tell if Someone is Worth a Damn
By Bradley Jones
#1 They smell bad
Breath, hair, anything (party situation, not just hiked 10 miles) they omit a displeasing odor of any kind. Artificial, real, whatever. Breath counts too (drinking is an exception to the breath rule, liquor just smells bad).
#2 They don’t know comics
Not that they’re not into them, that they have no clue. Have never held one. Know nothing about them. “Batman is with X-men right?”. No good.
#3 They talk more than they listen
A guy who rambles on about uninteresting shit. It has to be obvious, like only talks about themselves kind of thing, but pretty much just dis-interesting. If that’s how the guy normally talks, he’ll always talk like that. You’ll be able to pick up on that pretty quickly.
#4 Buzzwords
You have to pay attention to the words he’s saying. Can be a good or bad words. Like... so your talking to a guy and he's just lame but then wait... did he just say "Doctor Who" or just in general something that's interesting to you? Or if he brings up how awesome dog fighting is; definitely a negative buzzword there. If you don’t hear any, you’re in trouble. [refer to #3]
#5 His friends
Are his friends fitting the bad things on the list? This is a great way to tell who he is; just based on the shittyness of the people who he hangs out with. A more sidewinder way that will tell you if he himself is a total douche.
#6 Is he sympathetic?
Chances are if he hates animals he's out. If he hates homeless, out. If he just doesn't understand the bad things in the world or doesn't care about them, he's done. Toast.
#7 His everything in general
His clothing, his stance, his hair, etc… a quick first impression. His smile, eyes, aura… this happens instantly when you meet someone. Your first opinion is always right.
#8 The shit he owns
You can tell a lot about someone just based on materialistic factors; what cell phone do they have? Do they have a necklace on? Earrings perhaps? Are his possessions things you yourself would have? You can better judge someone by the things they own. Ex: If he has naked Budweiser babe posters , beer cans all over, or just shit that's not at all desirable; its bad news.
#9 Guys who get drunk off only beer
Just beer always beer… it has to be obvious though. Preferring beer is one thing, always smelling it on their breath, or clothes, or car… totally unacceptable.
#10 General demeanor
Does he tip the waitress, will he get a drink for you? Just niceness, he doesn't have to open doors and shit but he needs to be able to walk you home, even if its in the complete other direction. It can be simpler; someone needing to go on a beer run, someone who needs to take the drunk friend home. The guy who's aware of what's going on, normal generic dude; he sticks out as non-normal acting dude, bad news. High strung guys, depressed guys, nervous guys, in general not calm when you meet them; BAD NEWS.
If they have none of these characteristics, the congratulations, they’re worth a damn.
“Consider my knowledge dropped”
March 29, 2010
March 27, 2010
Give me the hand of Osiris / Give me head!
(this was constructed as a joke, but is a list in one of my many notebooks just the same)
These are hypothetical themes for giant murals of the puppy I'm going to get in a year and I to put in every room in my future residence.
Puppy Photoshoot
Underwater Theme
These are hypothetical themes for giant murals of the puppy I'm going to get in a year and I to put in every room in my future residence.
Puppy Photoshoot
Underwater Theme
- facemasks and snorkels
- bathing suit (me)
- kiddie pool
- matching cowboy hats
- cactus/desert background
- western shirt (me)
- matching western scarves
- sideways hats
- chains
- tall-tee
- D hats
- puppy = ball in mouth
- me = Tiger's shirt + jeans + bat
- Aladdin Sane face
March 26, 2010
I will give you so much money to not shoot your dad.
2009 Potential Broomball Team Names
- Acidwash & Velvet
- Molten Troll
- Deforestruction
- the Grand Flannally
- Doom and Broom
- Chooch Monkeys
- Guntharettes
March 25, 2010
SCUBA. It sounds funny. SCUBA.
Cake Requests
Adam - Nike
Dave - Han Solo in carbonite
Muppet Marathon - Miss Piggy
March 24, 2010
I am Tony Danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano.
Disney Princes + Princesses
Bambi + Faline
Prince Eric + Ariel
Prince Phillip + Aroura
the Beast + Belle
Simba + Nala
Prince Charming + Cinderella
The Prince + Snow White
Aladdin + Jasmine
Pocahontas
Tiger Lily
Rude and not ginger.
Phonetic Alphabet (navy 1954)
Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliette
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu
Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliette
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)